Hard Shack Life: The Sequel!
A few years ago I lived in studio apartment that had leaking water, mice roaming freely about in my pantry, nails on the ground where the carpet should have been, and a bathroom that was separate from the unit by 20′. Also the bathroom had holes in the wall where the windows should have been so when you went to the bathroom you need a coat. Oh yeah and there was only 5 minutes of hot water.
Since then I have attended graduate school and accumulated a small sum of money working as a TA for the gross anatomy labs at stony Brook University in NY. I have been living a cushy existence of getting fat off of Mom and Dad’s room and board. Of course I was sullen and belligerent towards my wealth of convienience, taking advantage of the free food and lodgings as if they were owed to me. Who would have known I would miss the sight of leftovers in the fridge so much…
Fast forward now to my present situation. Once again I find myself in a low income rental situation where the space is as limited the food selection. The neighborhood “has potential” and offers a somewhat seductive 99 cent Tijuana taco offering outside of my local liquor store on Sundays. My neighbors enjoy listening to music that consists soley of bass which doubles as a vibrating chair massage if you recline into the couch. The parking is easy access as I have a driveway spot, however the large pile of concrete bricks outside of driver side door somewhat limits how far you can open it.
The inside of the apartment is not too shabby. A lovely coat of chamomile yellow paint and a mix between laminate flooring and tile is a nice touch. Ascend the stair case( 2 stairs) from the master bedroom(read: living room, study, entrance… all rooms) leads you to a large closet which is also know as my kitchen. I would call it a kitchen but most kitchens offer more than a slowly heating hot plate and a jelly jar. Cooking in here requires not only planning ahead in order to determine how you can cook all your elements in a single plan but also crafty use of the tiny little butter knife that acts as the only sharp tool in the house.
The bathroom is fairly nice as it offers a nice tiled floor and a shower that offers more than 3 minutes of heat. The downside is that the water smells like rotten eggs and probably contains more minerals than a Centrum vitamin. The shower nozzle is broken so a little craftsmanship later and voila ‘Just Like New!’ Another slight downside is that the adjustable skylight is missing its rod that closes it so every morning is fun slap of frigid air in the face upon opening the door! Oh yeah, dont try to flush more than 3 pieces of toilet paper down…there can be some unpleasantness.
I have a nice little porch area which is quaint and is surrounded by plants. It is a great place to have a snack or read a book. The only problem is if you glance over your shoulder or look out of the kitchen window you come face-to-face with what could be described as a “pile of shit”. Paint cans, wheelbarrows, crappy furniture, broken TV’s, bent bicycle wheels, boxes, wheelbarrows, wild animals, bums, forgotten treasures, wheelbarrows, and of course horse dung. Seems the landlord is “a bit of a pack rat”!
And so, this is my homestead for the next 4 months. It is not as bad as I make it seem, but it wouldnt be as funny if I didnt embellish a little bit! I have a bag of homemade cookies, a lock on my door, my girl by my side, and an internet connection thats at least semi reliable. The landlord is a sweetheart and has brought me steak from her job as a caterer since she is a vegetarian. Stay tuned for more updates as I describe the joys of working for free and subtleties of going grocery shopping with seven dollars.
