U.S. Taco Bell Champion: Felix Tibs
It began as a simple enough agreement amongst friends. Due to a recent( then 2005) scare about E. Coli in taco Bell 4 of us agreed to not eat taco bell again. Everyone agreed to 10 dollars and the honesty principle between friends. Think Seinfeld without the masturbation. Well after 4 years a king has been crowned and it is none other than the leader of the grunta movement yours truly Felix Tibs.
The first 2 contestants broke and ate the bell early in the bet within the first 2 weeks. The remaining contestant then went on to not eat it until March of 2009 or so he claims. After intense grilling he finally admitted in NOVEMBER of 2009 that he had broken. Way to go honesty system…
In the end i was finally able to sink my teeth into Tbell again after drunken night after night of NOT eating bell. I had a volcano taco and a crunchwrap from a disgusting TB express in Manhattan. I must say I missed the flavors of the E. Coli because frankly the meal was mundane. I remember the food being much more chock full of salt and oils! The grossest part was eating the “beef”; is it partially digested?
I popped a few pre-emptive pepto bismols and proceeded to fight down the urge to shit myself until I passed out. I woke up with burning belches of volcano sauce and my feces were a bright red color similar to the shell color! Funny thing is, I cant wait to get a crunchwrap from a more reputable bell(if such a thing exists) the next time I go drinking!
Fuck the real mexican, gimmie some T-Bell